How do we focus on the things that we can control in marriage? Well, marriage is a relationship and when you’re in a relationship, you can’t control the other person. You can only control yourself. What I’ve come to focus on is my approach, my actions, and my attitude. I’ve heard people say that marriage is give and take. I believe it is. You have to give credit, give love, and give grace…and you have to take responsibility. Those are the things you can control in your marriage.